Wizard of Oz

There's something freaky about the Wizard of Oz. It's creepy. I KNOW you know that too. It's not just me. It really is. Or maybe not as creepy as twisted. I admit, when I was 5 and naive, I loved the movie. I loved Dorothy and her shoes and her voice and the little ballerina munchkins and Glinda (I used to like pink...imagine that!). But then... I got old. And cynical/critical (the culture shock of going from ultra Catholic conservative Kansas high school attender to left-wing Iowa college English major will confuse you and cynicsm/criticism just happens...who'd'a thunk?), and I can't watch that movie now without warning lights flashing in my brain (I like to imagine there's an intercommed voice too, saying: DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER! but ironically I don't even know who Will Robinson is. Maybe my warning voice can say: DANGER SPOCK DANGER! because I saw the new Star Trek movie twice and I would trust Spock with my life I think) telling me that something is wrong.

Here's why:

1.  If some chick from Kansas dropped her house on MY sister, I'd be pissed off too. In my view, the wicked witch is somewhat justified in her actions. At least in being annoyed and mad at Dorothy. Even if Dorothy doesn't deserve the blame, we at least can understand WHY the witch is frustrated and taking it out on Dorothy. Her sister just died. Seriously. 
2. Given the socio-cultural recently-post-civil war background of the book, the flying monkeys could be an interesting statement on slavery and the treatment of African Americans even in a newly post-slavery (but not post-civil-rights) society. And that just, for me at least, adds an aspect of seriousness and social commentary unbefitting the children's story/happy-go-lucky image that people have assigned to this movie. 
3. Glinda is WAY too Barbie. And Dorothy is supposed to listen to her? And she doesn't tell Dorothy she can go home the first time she sees her? She is a walking (flying?) contradiction. In the beginning of the movie, she says that the shoes have great power, but she also says that she doesn't know what they can do, but then in the end she just happens to know. I'd punch somebody if I went through that whole ordeal only to have been able to get home within five minutes of leaving if Glinda had just TOLD me. 
4. Nobody receives their "gifts" until after they kill the wicked witch (whom I've already said is understandably justified to an extent in her anger/frustration). Not only are these "gifts" so fraudulent and unnecessary (Scarecrow doesn't believe he's smart until he receives a diploma, etc, etc), but were they really worth killing for? What are we teaching our kids here? 
5. Furthermore, why does Dorothy WANT to go home? Aside from her lovely aunt and uncle whom she adores simply because she has to, she isn't respected at home, no one stands up for her, her dog's life is in mortal danger there, and it's black and white. I can sort of understand wanting to go home by the end of the movie, but really? That's the first thing you want to do when you get to Oz? Go home? Yeah right. 
6. This one isn't quite from the movie, but from background I happen to know: Margaret Hamilton (aka The Wicked Witch of the West) was shunned on set by her fellow cast members. How awful. 

Sorry if you absolutely love the movie, but I am just so disillusioned by it. And I'm writing a paper and I've already written numerous poems about it because it's all I've been able to think about for months! 

Up next: why Belle = Judy Garland/Dorothy in animated form... 

XOXO. 

Things I'm Thankful For:

I told ya' I couldn't promise the post by Friday, didn't I!

So here goes:

I'm thankful for my actual Thanksgiving Day--I'm grateful that I got to meet my boyfriend's extended family and learn a little bit more about where he comes from and why he's so awesome. They were so incredibly welcoming--I spent the morning running commentary of the Macy's Day parade with the boy, his dad, and his uncle. I felt like a part of the family within the first five minutes, literally. That's never happened before. I'm also grateful that our families are close enough that I got to see my family on Turkey Day as well. Even though only 7 of us showed up, I'm grateful for conversation that we had--we've never had that random combination of relatives before, and it was perfect. I got to see my closest cousin for the first time in 8 months, and we had one of those rare awesome heart-to-hearts that I love so much. I'm thankful for the family that didn't show up--I missed them, and I realized how crucial every member of my family is--we are really a family--made up of individual units that can't be taken away or replaced.

I'm thankful for cooperating weather and the safe travels everyone made. Though I complain about the lack of snow, I was grateful that this Thanksgiving holiday, the dry roads made for safer driving.

I'm thankful for my education. The break away from school was more than necessary, but coming back has made me realize 2 things: 1) I'm going to miss this place. I'm going to miss the people, the classes, my professors, and the community. This school has been my home, and I love it to pieces, and it's a bittersweet feeling knowing that it's all coming to an end in a few months. 2) I'm so lucky to be where I am, and I've had opportunities some people never get the chance to have. I realized even more this holiday how much my parents have encouraged learning and how lucky I am that they did.

I'm thankful for people that believe in me. My parents, friends and the boy are always there to give me pep talks when I need it--or just a hug. I know I've been driving everyone crazy lately being stressed about post-college plans, but I'm SO thankful that I have people that love me enough to put up with that and to listen. Thank you guys.

I don't know how in the world I'm lucky enough to have the people I have in my life, but I'm so blessed. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. :)

xoxo

December has arrived

The holiday season has officially arrived, which is crazy. I've been neglecting the blogging, and I apologize. Blame midterms, the encroachment of finals week, and the craziness of school that is senior year. Don't get me wrong, I find time to relax-- but lately that's been in the form of making collages, not blogging. Don't ask where the collaging came from. I think it was the fact that I couldn't justify my accumulation and saving of hundreds of magazines any other way. So now instead of a pile of hundreds of random magazines, I have a pile of hundreds of cut-up magazines... and a few collages which will be showing up under Christmas trees this year. (Sorry yall, I'm a poor college student... but they're personalized and good wall-art!)

On to the holidays: in the spirit of not neglecting Thanksgiving in lieu of Christmas, here's a preview of my obligatory "I'm thankful for..." list, the entirety of which should be appearing tomorrow or Black Friday...but no promises, as I'll be with my family if the weather cooperates, and hopefully all my time will be occupied by all the cousins I've not seen in months it feels like.

Things I'm thankful for (in no particular order):

• The Starbucks barista today who chatted with me for 5 minutes and made my day
• My boss: so nice and sweet--cares about EVERYONE-- a rare find sometimes
• Old college people that graduated: you inspire me to keep going--and everytime we chat you remind me of amazing times
• My oldest 2nd cousin: you inspire me in general. You rock and you don't get enough credit for it.
• My aunt: you're SUCH a trooper. 

MORE TO COME..

With the advent of Thanksgiving and well... advent/Christmas quickly arriving, I can't help but think of all the things that have changed from last winter break to this one. And the scary thing is that not as much has changed this year. My best friend's birthday is in December, and last Christmas was the first time in years that I didn't get to celebrate it with her, and the hardest part of that was that I'll never get to celebrate it with her again. She's going on year 2 in the nunnery now. I've accepted that fact, but it won't stop my heart from twingeing a little on December 27th. But it makes me step back a little bit and try and gain some perspective on life: it's constantly changing and people are constantly flitting in and out of it, and we can only hope that at some point, someone touches us--and hopefully we can touch someone else.

I've had the opportunity to have so many amazing people in my life. Even the people that I don't talk to anymore or that I've had falling-outs with have left imprints on me--have changed me for better, and I hope they know that. I've also been blessed to have so many different types of people in my life. From Catholic school in Kansas to the sorority girls and ultra liberal sometimes hippie :)  friends I've made here at Drake to my laid-back, down-home family in Iowa to my Polish grandparents in California to my work family to my crazy and inspiring professors, I've been so incredibly blessed--so exposed to the millions of ways we can love other people. And I just hope I can touch someone else and let those people that have so touched ME know that I have been thusly touched, inspired, and that I've felt the love. That's my mission this holiday season: validation.

And that's my challenge to you too. Validate someone this season. Do it with love and genuine intent: let others know they've impacted you and affected you. I think one of the best gifts you can give someone is to let them know how much the love they've shown you has been felt. It's not necessary to have your actions "validated," but... it's nice.

So I leave you with this fantastic video that my boss showed me on the first day of work.

Much love and happy thanksgiving!

Strangers

I'm waking up at 6:15 AM to take the LSAT. It could last up to 7 hours. I can't have my cell phone. I'm getting thumb-printed.

Sounds a tad like jail.

Stressful. Possibly life-changing.

Spent all week stressing and studying, not just for this but for a whole bunch of school stuff.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mom called today to tell me that two kids at a school in my cousins' neighborhood were injured.

These kids live in California. Suffice it to say, I was utterly confused. The only thing I could think of was that perhaps one of my precious little cousin had punched a friend or something and THAT'S why mom was telling me.

"What do you mean?" I said.

And she proceeded to tell me that my aunt had sent her an email which said something along the lines of "Carlsbad school shooting. Picking up kids."

(She never was one for long emails.)

A gunman showed up at the school playground (if my cousins lived one block over, they would have gone to school here), got out of his car, and began shooting. Somehow, he only narrowly shot two kids (bullets grazed them and they're okay) before nearby construction workers were able to take him down.

Thank God for caring strangers.

... it's the little things today.

The LSAT? Not so bad. Counting my blessings today that my family is safe. It's the little things, guys. Random acts of kindness--bravery--instinctual gut reactions to life-threatening situations. Saving lives.

Unsure how to feel

I don't even want to explain myself. Life is just... well, life. It never ceases to amaze, excite, annoy, and trouble me. All at the same time. 

So instead of trying to craft meaning of it all today, I'm just going to post a picture that made me smile. 

If that isn't true love, I don't know what is...

Welcome October...

It is officially October. Time for pumpkin carving, leaf falling (and leaf raking, leaf blowing, and leaf jumping), hopefully a bit of snow falling, probably some nose blowing, trick-or-treating and I hope to squeeze in a smooch or two with my honey.

My motto for this month is gonna' be: focus on the little things.

As anxious as I am to put September in the past and behind me, I want to keep it with us here for one more blog post just so we can recognize it's contribution to our lives. All the trials and tribulations we go through in the Septembers of our lives leave marks on our hearts, and while we should move on from those, they will forever be there, and though we might not want them to, they will change the course of our lives from here on out, even if we don't notice it. My point amid all this wordiness is that September taught me something: God gives us happiness in the little things, and sometimes we forget to see that.

Today was absolutely crazy. Here's a rundown:
10:00 Took my car to the dealer. It didn't blow up on the way there. Arrived safe and sound and smoking.
10:30 Friend picked me up from taking the car.
11:00 Friend and I eat a delicious lunch at Jimmy John's, where the meat-to-lettuce ratio was perfection.
12-ish I arrive back to my room to find 3 wasps. Oh joy.
1-ish I find out the car stuff will cost upwards of $200. Expensive, but not as bad as the $500 it could've been
2:00 Battle with wasps is still ensuing. Two are trapped between windowpanes and a fourth has appeared (so two are untrapped)
2:05 I start to cry.
2:10 A maintenance man offers to take care of the wasp problem for me. He kills them (FIVE now), locates the problem, tells me they'll seal up my window, and in the middle of it all, stops to say, "I'm not trying to flirt with you, but you have beautiful eyes," and I can't help but smile.
3:00 I do crafts to destress from the 2 hours of wasps.
6:35 My friend takes me to the mechanic to pick up my car
8:00 My car still isn't fixed
8:10 Mechanic lends me HIS car because mine is "unsafe."
8:35 The dining hall guy gives me free mozzarella sticks.

I'm not going to lie, the bad definitely outweighed the good, however, I couldn't help but be amazed with my own calmness through the whole car situation, and even the wasp situation (until the 4th one appeared...but I didn't lose it until then). I'm the person that gets incredibly stressed out and freaked out when something doesn't go as planned, but this, after last month, was almost laughable. There were five wasps in my room. How the hell does that happen? And in the middle of a giant wasp-killing session, a sweet old guy stops to tell me I have pretty eyes? My heart melted. That made my day. Keith the dinner man gave me free mozzarella sticks... how sweet is THAT? And my car has been smoking out of the hood all week. Sounds like a blow-up waiting to happen, yet I'm still alive. How lucky am I? I have been blessed with GOOD things today despite the bad. And the bad? It isn't so bad... not in the grand scheme of things.

My point is, October, I hope you get better--I could do without $200 mechanic payments and wasps, but if it's that or the death and sickness that raged September, I'll take it.

Something to Smile About

I wanna' share a piece of good news I just found out: the cancer kid is officially in remission. :) Damn girl! :) :) :)