First off, just wanted to say: I hope those last two posts don't sound completely pity-me. That's not my intention at all. At any given moment, we're all dealing with stuff, and I completely understand that. I'm so blessed to be where I'm at right now. I just wish that those I'm close to were doing a little bit better.
On a somewhat related, somewhat not note, I've been reflecting on what it means to take care of yourself. And no, I don't mean shaving your legs and brushing your teeth. I mean, at what point in life is it important and necessary to focus only on yourself--on fixing your issues on taking care of your own problems and temporarily shutting off outside contact so that you can regain a little composure? I guess I worry that lately I've been shutting others out when they need me, because part of me is terrified to hear what other horrible things are happening to others that I love and another part of me is afraid that I can't give my full 100% attention to anything anymore, because literally, 24/7, I'm thinking "I hope so-and-so is okay...I hope I hope I hope..." And slowly, that's already going away a little bit as I get better at prioritizing, at looking at the bright side, and figuring out that this is one moment in time, not an eternity---that some of this stuff HAS to get better for my friends and family. I just don't want to neglect anyone else in the process. And I worry that I'm already doing that without realizing it.
Not that anyone reads this, but I apologize if I've neglected to give anyone my complete and full attention lately. I'm trying. And working on it. And I know that everyone else is going through stuff and needing to get stuff off their chests as well. So just to let you know-- hugs from me are always a guaranteed. I'm here. And thank you to those that have dealt with my extra-bitchiness and isolationist tendencies lately. I'm more grateful than I'll ever be able to express.
Stay awesome.
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