I see butterflies!

fighting embryos. or butterflies. or a
Christmas tree! (I have festive skin)

Do you see the E? Sort of? 

It's been bothering me last night that I didn't know what THIS was called (Erythema ab igne. I mean, of all things--THAT'S what it's called? it looks like BS.) Anyways. Last night, while skyping the boy, I was sitting in my round fuzzy gray chair with my feet propped up on the windowsill so my legs would get warm and toasty from the heater which is right under the window. I wanted my legs toasty in the whimsical mmmmm-I-just-ate-a-stomach-and-my-heart-feels-fuzzy-and-toasty kind of way [EDIT: that was supposed to be "ate-a-smore..." but I couldn't completely change it because that typo makes me smile and smiles are few and far between during dead week]. Not in the toaster strudel kind of way. But that's what happened. My pictures suck because I had to take them on my phone because I was skyping the boy and he kept giving me weird faces and comments whenever he caught me looking at the backs of my legs and shouting out the random things I saw in them. Like an E. Or skulls. (last night the bigger one looked like a skull or a mean face or a Christmas tree. But today I see fighting embryos. Like twins in the womb. That fight each other.) Plus, I was too lazy to get my camera out. I considered using my computer but that would have involved stopping my skype session with boy and in boy vs. fighting embryos, boy always wins.

Anyways. Just for the record, the weird skin things went away after 20 minutes. I don't have some scary disease. I just sit too close to the heater sometimes. Maybe if I kept my heat at a mid-level all the time instead of turning it off and waiting until I'm freezing and then turning it on high and sitting really close to it, that would never have happened. Also, I was wearing shorts. Usually when I do that I'm wearing pants (which makes sense because I'm cold. I don't know why I was wearing shorts last night). Whatever. But beware people. Apparently this can also be called toasted skin syndrome (that makes so much more sense than jiggerythiglsosoleditcheesas or whatever it's really called), and it's recently been in the news more often because people do this to themselves while using laptops. I'm so glad that I, living in the 21st century, where awesome things like laptops pose health issues, get burned [ish] by really old radiator things. Totally 21st century. (By the way I'm not complaining. I actually like it. And I'm thankful I have heat. I'm just saying: laptops... really old radiator... laptop... really old radiator. Interesting.)

Really old radiator thingy

In other news, I am the queen of procrastination. Today I read through almost all of Allie's old blog entries, played snake 59382018475903 times, read my boss' paper for the 3rd time (I don't know why but I can totally focus when reading other people's stuff... just not my own!), googled my skin thingy for a long time, listened to an entire album of Sara Evans and read the lyrics at the same time, watched 20 minutes of Wizard of Oz (that was actually for class though-- but watching it again didn't make me change my mind that it's really really dark and shouldn't be labeled a kid's movie), braided my hair, lost my card thingy for my phone to put my pictures on this blog (which is why this post has taken at least 45 minutes to write), and... other stuff. I don't even remember now. I also wrote a bit and got some stuff done. I wasn't entirely non-productive, but I'm constantly impressed with my ability to procrastinate.

... that's all.

Posting makes me feel productive

Hello dead week. It is officially the weekend before dead week, which in my mind is the legitimate START of dead week because all of campus is in study mode. Except for all those people on my floor that went out last night. And all the people who updated their facebook statuses to say they were going out. Ok, I'm going to PRETEND that all of campus is in study mode, because otherwise I'll feel even worse about myself because *I* am studying all weekend. Except for now of course. And those couple of moments I took breaks last night to play snake.

Yes. You heard me right. Snake. Do you remember this game? It was awesome. Back in the good ole days-- sayyy 2005, it was on my cell phone. Which means you probably haven't had it on YOUR cell phone since 2003. I didn't get a color phone until 06 or 07. ANYHOO. Snake was the best game ever. That was my point.

I just think dead week needs to be renamed. Can you really call it anything more depressing? I know that in the heads of some people dead week is supposed to mean dead as in no active assignments or tests due that week, etc, etc, but in reality the dead refers to the students... not the classes. I feel like my impending papers, projects, presentations and tests are slowly killing me with a meat cleaver. By the end of the week I will appropriately be dead. My sister (who has agreed to guest blog over winter break! YAY! about parasites! YAY!) agrees with me--or rather I agree with her, since she first mentioned it when I said, "hey what should I blog about?" (hint: if you have anything I should blog about give me a shout out).

Anyhoo. I therefore propose that we rename finals week: Zombie Week. First comes death. Then comes zombification. YAY. Then Christmas. (PS: this zombie wants THIS  [belowwwww] for Christmas).

picture from: http://www.animalcareclinicslo.com/blog/

Isn't he just adorable? AHHHH so cute. So much cuter than this:

pic from: http://www.sodahead.com/fun/is-it-just-me-or-is-soda-head-dead-tonight/question-950376/

Which is what it would look like if it went to college and had Zombie Week too. This is why cats don't go to college. In case you were wondering (I know you were). 

Lo siento para la pointless post. Must get back to writing papers/slowly getting killed by a meat cleaver.

NOW December Has Arrived...

I keep glancing over at my blog archive and the December Has Arrived post keeps throwing me off. I don't know why I made that the title of that post. I have absolutely no idea. I think, in my head, I got the idea that because Thanksgiving was getting close that meant December was getting close, which... while partly true, isn't quite true enough for me to announce that December has arrived. I mean really.

But in other news, the semester is winding down. Which, crazy enough, means that the stress level is winding up. But that's not so crazy really, is it? It's school. And I guess that the harder we have to work these next couple of weeks, the more rewarding winter break will be when it finally gets here. And snow should be arriving soon. And imagine if we have no work to do and we can have fantastic adventures playing and walking and building snowmen and sledding and building castles and having snowball fights and...

I really like snow. But I also would really like to have a job. (pretend the train of thought from snow to job is logical please.) And I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Which, while bringing about more stress of course, also has been making me think REALLY hard about what I want to do with my life. (And this loverly post by the amazing Holly made me actually decide to blog about it.)

UPDATE: I had to go to class and save that draft and now I just don't really want to write about post-college (read Holly's plans though!). I'd rather write about snow. And how much I love it. But I'm going to leave the post-college plan paragraph there so it haunts me and I have to think about it later.

Thank you picnik.com! 

This is what I want to happen right now: me in a santa hat. Outside with lots of snow in a santa toboggan hat (is that what those are called?). Preferably not with my nails painted green but whatever. You win some you lose some.

One of my favorite college memories happened in the aftermath of a blizzard. A good friend and I went outside and jumped in snow drifts. Just jumped. We'd run... and jump. SO. MUCH. FUN.

And another time, when I was still in high school, it snowed on Thanksgiving and my sister and I made an obese snow-turkey. His feathers didn't go as high as his head. (snow feathers are HARD!) But it made for good safe snow pictures with the baby cousin (who got to go for his first ever snow-turkey ride!) and therefore was awesome nonetheless.

It snowed yesterday a little bit, but nothing like it should have. Probably the number one reason I love going to school in Iowa is because you can reasonably assume there will be snow on the ground from Thanksgiving to Easter-ish. That doesn't happen in Kansas. In Kansas it snows and melts, snows and melts and it gets all slushy and gross faster and the grass is just mud (instead of covered in a warm fuzzy blanket of SNOW!). So we're a bit behind here in Iowa. But I just keep imagining that the clouds are storing up lots and lots of snow so when it finally does snow a lot, it snows A LOT-A LOT. This is long. Sorry. I'm done. I just want snow. I want to make a big huge castle. And then I want to make those snow pie thingies that Laura and Mary Ingalls used to make. And I want to snuggle in an igloo and drink butterbeer.

End of story. Oh! And all the people that I love will be there. Having fun. In the snow. The end. YAY!

Wizard of Oz

There's something freaky about the Wizard of Oz. It's creepy. I KNOW you know that too. It's not just me. It really is. Or maybe not as creepy as twisted. I admit, when I was 5 and naive, I loved the movie. I loved Dorothy and her shoes and her voice and the little ballerina munchkins and Glinda (I used to like pink...imagine that!). But then... I got old. And cynical/critical (the culture shock of going from ultra Catholic conservative Kansas high school attender to left-wing Iowa college English major will confuse you and cynicsm/criticism just happens...who'd'a thunk?), and I can't watch that movie now without warning lights flashing in my brain (I like to imagine there's an intercommed voice too, saying: DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER! but ironically I don't even know who Will Robinson is. Maybe my warning voice can say: DANGER SPOCK DANGER! because I saw the new Star Trek movie twice and I would trust Spock with my life I think) telling me that something is wrong.

Here's why:

1.  If some chick from Kansas dropped her house on MY sister, I'd be pissed off too. In my view, the wicked witch is somewhat justified in her actions. At least in being annoyed and mad at Dorothy. Even if Dorothy doesn't deserve the blame, we at least can understand WHY the witch is frustrated and taking it out on Dorothy. Her sister just died. Seriously. 
2. Given the socio-cultural recently-post-civil war background of the book, the flying monkeys could be an interesting statement on slavery and the treatment of African Americans even in a newly post-slavery (but not post-civil-rights) society. And that just, for me at least, adds an aspect of seriousness and social commentary unbefitting the children's story/happy-go-lucky image that people have assigned to this movie. 
3. Glinda is WAY too Barbie. And Dorothy is supposed to listen to her? And she doesn't tell Dorothy she can go home the first time she sees her? She is a walking (flying?) contradiction. In the beginning of the movie, she says that the shoes have great power, but she also says that she doesn't know what they can do, but then in the end she just happens to know. I'd punch somebody if I went through that whole ordeal only to have been able to get home within five minutes of leaving if Glinda had just TOLD me. 
4. Nobody receives their "gifts" until after they kill the wicked witch (whom I've already said is understandably justified to an extent in her anger/frustration). Not only are these "gifts" so fraudulent and unnecessary (Scarecrow doesn't believe he's smart until he receives a diploma, etc, etc), but were they really worth killing for? What are we teaching our kids here? 
5. Furthermore, why does Dorothy WANT to go home? Aside from her lovely aunt and uncle whom she adores simply because she has to, she isn't respected at home, no one stands up for her, her dog's life is in mortal danger there, and it's black and white. I can sort of understand wanting to go home by the end of the movie, but really? That's the first thing you want to do when you get to Oz? Go home? Yeah right. 
6. This one isn't quite from the movie, but from background I happen to know: Margaret Hamilton (aka The Wicked Witch of the West) was shunned on set by her fellow cast members. How awful. 

Sorry if you absolutely love the movie, but I am just so disillusioned by it. And I'm writing a paper and I've already written numerous poems about it because it's all I've been able to think about for months! 

Up next: why Belle = Judy Garland/Dorothy in animated form... 

XOXO. 

Things I'm Thankful For:

I told ya' I couldn't promise the post by Friday, didn't I!

So here goes:

I'm thankful for my actual Thanksgiving Day--I'm grateful that I got to meet my boyfriend's extended family and learn a little bit more about where he comes from and why he's so awesome. They were so incredibly welcoming--I spent the morning running commentary of the Macy's Day parade with the boy, his dad, and his uncle. I felt like a part of the family within the first five minutes, literally. That's never happened before. I'm also grateful that our families are close enough that I got to see my family on Turkey Day as well. Even though only 7 of us showed up, I'm grateful for conversation that we had--we've never had that random combination of relatives before, and it was perfect. I got to see my closest cousin for the first time in 8 months, and we had one of those rare awesome heart-to-hearts that I love so much. I'm thankful for the family that didn't show up--I missed them, and I realized how crucial every member of my family is--we are really a family--made up of individual units that can't be taken away or replaced.

I'm thankful for cooperating weather and the safe travels everyone made. Though I complain about the lack of snow, I was grateful that this Thanksgiving holiday, the dry roads made for safer driving.

I'm thankful for my education. The break away from school was more than necessary, but coming back has made me realize 2 things: 1) I'm going to miss this place. I'm going to miss the people, the classes, my professors, and the community. This school has been my home, and I love it to pieces, and it's a bittersweet feeling knowing that it's all coming to an end in a few months. 2) I'm so lucky to be where I am, and I've had opportunities some people never get the chance to have. I realized even more this holiday how much my parents have encouraged learning and how lucky I am that they did.

I'm thankful for people that believe in me. My parents, friends and the boy are always there to give me pep talks when I need it--or just a hug. I know I've been driving everyone crazy lately being stressed about post-college plans, but I'm SO thankful that I have people that love me enough to put up with that and to listen. Thank you guys.

I don't know how in the world I'm lucky enough to have the people I have in my life, but I'm so blessed. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. :)

xoxo

December has arrived

The holiday season has officially arrived, which is crazy. I've been neglecting the blogging, and I apologize. Blame midterms, the encroachment of finals week, and the craziness of school that is senior year. Don't get me wrong, I find time to relax-- but lately that's been in the form of making collages, not blogging. Don't ask where the collaging came from. I think it was the fact that I couldn't justify my accumulation and saving of hundreds of magazines any other way. So now instead of a pile of hundreds of random magazines, I have a pile of hundreds of cut-up magazines... and a few collages which will be showing up under Christmas trees this year. (Sorry yall, I'm a poor college student... but they're personalized and good wall-art!)

On to the holidays: in the spirit of not neglecting Thanksgiving in lieu of Christmas, here's a preview of my obligatory "I'm thankful for..." list, the entirety of which should be appearing tomorrow or Black Friday...but no promises, as I'll be with my family if the weather cooperates, and hopefully all my time will be occupied by all the cousins I've not seen in months it feels like.

Things I'm thankful for (in no particular order):

• The Starbucks barista today who chatted with me for 5 minutes and made my day
• My boss: so nice and sweet--cares about EVERYONE-- a rare find sometimes
• Old college people that graduated: you inspire me to keep going--and everytime we chat you remind me of amazing times
• My oldest 2nd cousin: you inspire me in general. You rock and you don't get enough credit for it.
• My aunt: you're SUCH a trooper. 

MORE TO COME..

With the advent of Thanksgiving and well... advent/Christmas quickly arriving, I can't help but think of all the things that have changed from last winter break to this one. And the scary thing is that not as much has changed this year. My best friend's birthday is in December, and last Christmas was the first time in years that I didn't get to celebrate it with her, and the hardest part of that was that I'll never get to celebrate it with her again. She's going on year 2 in the nunnery now. I've accepted that fact, but it won't stop my heart from twingeing a little on December 27th. But it makes me step back a little bit and try and gain some perspective on life: it's constantly changing and people are constantly flitting in and out of it, and we can only hope that at some point, someone touches us--and hopefully we can touch someone else.

I've had the opportunity to have so many amazing people in my life. Even the people that I don't talk to anymore or that I've had falling-outs with have left imprints on me--have changed me for better, and I hope they know that. I've also been blessed to have so many different types of people in my life. From Catholic school in Kansas to the sorority girls and ultra liberal sometimes hippie :)  friends I've made here at Drake to my laid-back, down-home family in Iowa to my Polish grandparents in California to my work family to my crazy and inspiring professors, I've been so incredibly blessed--so exposed to the millions of ways we can love other people. And I just hope I can touch someone else and let those people that have so touched ME know that I have been thusly touched, inspired, and that I've felt the love. That's my mission this holiday season: validation.

And that's my challenge to you too. Validate someone this season. Do it with love and genuine intent: let others know they've impacted you and affected you. I think one of the best gifts you can give someone is to let them know how much the love they've shown you has been felt. It's not necessary to have your actions "validated," but... it's nice.

So I leave you with this fantastic video that my boss showed me on the first day of work.

Much love and happy thanksgiving!

Strangers

I'm waking up at 6:15 AM to take the LSAT. It could last up to 7 hours. I can't have my cell phone. I'm getting thumb-printed.

Sounds a tad like jail.

Stressful. Possibly life-changing.

Spent all week stressing and studying, not just for this but for a whole bunch of school stuff.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mom called today to tell me that two kids at a school in my cousins' neighborhood were injured.

These kids live in California. Suffice it to say, I was utterly confused. The only thing I could think of was that perhaps one of my precious little cousin had punched a friend or something and THAT'S why mom was telling me.

"What do you mean?" I said.

And she proceeded to tell me that my aunt had sent her an email which said something along the lines of "Carlsbad school shooting. Picking up kids."

(She never was one for long emails.)

A gunman showed up at the school playground (if my cousins lived one block over, they would have gone to school here), got out of his car, and began shooting. Somehow, he only narrowly shot two kids (bullets grazed them and they're okay) before nearby construction workers were able to take him down.

Thank God for caring strangers.

... it's the little things today.

The LSAT? Not so bad. Counting my blessings today that my family is safe. It's the little things, guys. Random acts of kindness--bravery--instinctual gut reactions to life-threatening situations. Saving lives.